Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Max's shortest love story

Max broke her personal love story record today.

The Sage and I met for lunch. Max was late (she usually is) and halfway through the main course she came half running in her afternoon heels (they're an inch shorter than her evening ones), half giggling.

She sat next to TS and gave him the biggest, longest, tongue-est smooch ever while I first stared blatantly and then pretended to remove a huge non existent pepper corn from my roast chicken. A few long, mortifying moments later S entered the cafe.

Now this S is great company the first time you meet but 2 meetings later you notice he's exceptionally hard to get rid of. He'll call you for coffee twice a day and knock on your door every time he's in the area (which, you soon notice, seems to be almost always). He'll invite himself in for a coffee and will stay till long after dinner. He'll ask if he can come along to that party you're going to later tonight.

These days I tell him I'm living in Newcastle a lot of the time. Doing a placement at Mslexia magazine. When I bump into him on the street my default response has become to say I just got off the train from Newcastle or I'm on my way to catch a train to Newcastle. It's got to a point where he doesn't even notice I have nothing but a 6 inch purse on me.

He walked in and I knew the reason behind Max's love story with The Sage. S has shown up at Max's door thrice this week and she's just about had enough. But Max being Max she can't say it to him.

TS enjoyed himself thoroughly though. After 3 seconds of shock and about 2 more seconds of pretending to push her off a wee bit he really got into it...and boy were they into it.

So guess who got stuck making conversation with S (yes, of course he invited himself to our table. He was looking for one victim and he found three!).

I thought (for a long time) that he was probably lonely. Maybe he didn't really know too many people here. I met his Spanish flatmate (s) and they seem to be having a party in their flat almost twice a week. So now we know why he turns up two days less. And turns out he's normally organising them.

Then I thought maybe he just wants some different company. So another few months went inviting him in, then struggling 6 hours later to get him out.

Now I've given up. I guess that makes me nasty. I tell myself I tried.

So we talked about the weather and his next party and his love for French girls (although I don't think he's ever really had a girlfriend. After being "single and ready to mingle" for over a year now, I sympathise completely) and who makes the best cappuccino in town (just for the record, his pick was Starbucks. Personally, I'm not big on Starbucks. I like Nero or Tinderbox better).
Eventually I went to the ladies room for a full 25 minutes (Max and TS were still glued together, taking only 4 minute gaps in between to breathe and drink some of their lemonade) I came back to find him saying his good byes (of course I went back behind the pillar till he was outside). I discovered he'd got the impression they were getting ready to leave, go find themselves a room with a bed somewhere.

So that was Max's shortest relationship to date 4 hours and 27 minutes (it was a long lunch) in total. But perhaps enough snogging to beat her month long one (with the Pakistani American exchange student) hollow.

Pictures and links: linked from Flickr, not mine so please visit the lovely photographers of these photos:

Mslexia: it's a writing magazine I love reading. Too bad its only quaterly though. You'll also find quite a bit of writing inspiration (see the New Writing section) on the website.

Newcastle: That's the Millenium Bridge, where a special someone and I walk many many nights (I'm meeting him soon so you'll read about him soon).


Al Walling said...

i think the "short story" tag is rhetoric.
i got more outta it than it meets the eye :)

and for me, 60 is quite old...lol
i mean, it "feels" old..

Fictional Desi said...

yeah. 'short' in the title is extremely deceptive for a foot long post.

after reading a re reading this post for several minute and thinking as hard as my curently sleep deprived brain will allow and coming up blank, i have to ask: yes, 60 is old in some ways (having said that, i know 3 70+ people who i meet often for coffees and city walking and they're absolutely sharper than me) but i can't see the connecting reference (am i just being thick> remind me!)

WAR10CK said...

that was loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg....

Mamma mia! Me a mamma? said...

Beautifully written...but of course!

Suki said...

Hey, thanks for dropping by! It's great to have new readers, and especially those I haven't read already :)

That was a cute post, lol. I'll be back for more. Now gotta rush to uni ;)

small_town girl said...

that was some quick thinking from the girl!

Fictional Desi said...

lol yes,very long post.

thank you. you make me blush

thanks for dropping in. your blog was a pleasur to read.

small town girl:
yes, Max is quicker and better and bolder than me and all our other friends put together when it comes to these kinds of situations.

Nikita said...

I too have a couple of such aquaintances who are oh-so-difficult to get rid of. However, next time I would know what to do ;-)

Qing-jao said...

Keep up the good work.

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